How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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