In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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