no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
