If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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