if you like me you must not know who I am
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
