My pussy is not your playground.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
