is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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