he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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