it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
