Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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