What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
