Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
