She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
