Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
