That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
