that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We need to get me chipped asap
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
