Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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