am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He has the fingertips of a God
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