I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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