If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
