i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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