hotel room ftw
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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