wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
