I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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