she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
