hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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