Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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