I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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