I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
