I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
