There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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