I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
