Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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