pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
