She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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