herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
