Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
