He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
