Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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