dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
