Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
