Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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