If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
