I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
