He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
