I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
