My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
3pm strippers are depressing
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
