Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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