Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
