in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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